4 Unexpected Lessons on Burnout From My Most Chaotic Month Yet
If October had a theme, it would be “plot twists and patience.”
I feel like I’ve just lived through the oldest daughter phenomenon in HD… taking care of everyone, managing work, and trying not to lose my mind in the process.
Between three back-to-back work trips and an unexpected family emergency that turned a 40-minute surgery into a 4.5-hour one, I spent October high fiving my husband in the airport as we passed each other on yet another work trip.
And because life has a sense of humor, the second my husband left town I got a phone call from school “your daughter just threw up”. Because of course. Whenever one of us travels (mainly my husband) it’s without fail one of the kids will get sick.
And we have been fighting stomach flu after cold after cold ever since.
It’s been a lot. But with chaos comes clarity, and October handed me some lessons I didn’t know I needed.
Back to back travel is too much in this season of life
I am so thankful for the opportunity to travel for work as it affords me the ability to go places I’ve never been able to travel to. New York City? Dallas? Austin? Boston? Miami? San Francisco? I’ve been to all of those cities thanks to work.
But when you’re scheduled for back to back weeks of work trips hopping from one city to another, airports start to feel less like an adventure and more like a second job.
Lesson learned: I’m giving myself permission to say no to back-to-back travel next year. I want to love traveling again, and I think once per quarter is a fantastic goal.
2. I thrive when things get messy
Call it compartmentalizing, denial or hustle culture embedded in me but when life starts to unravel, I go into tunnel vision mode. I block out the noise, focus on what I can control, and get what needs to get done, done.
While sitting in that hospital waiting room from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m., I got more done than I had all year.
When things are chaotic, I find calm in getting things done. It’s not about toxic productivity, it’s about finding focus when everything else feels out of control.
3. Patience and space is as equally important during busy seasons
One of the hardest lessons I’ve continually been learning is to be patience and trust that things will turn around. As an anxious person by nature, I tend to catastrophize right off the bat (so I can plan for worst case scenario) but when it comes to health (yours, a loved one’s, anyone’s) you can’t rush the process. You just have to trust, pray, and breathe through it.
As a high achieving, anxious, control freak I like to have solutions and I like to have them NOW. But giving time, space, and patience is just as important as putting your head down and working through the pain.
October tested this for me big time. I’m learning that time and faith are a better combo than panic and control.
4. Solo parenting builds confidence (even when it’s hard)
If you would have asked me about solo parenting a year ago, I would have told you I feel suffocated when I don’t have help at home. Solo parenting two under two was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
And yet… This month I realized my capacity as a mom, parent, and caretaker has expanded drastically. After another week of solo parenting this month with a sick kid, no backup, and deadlines still due… I didn’t feel the panic or suffocation I usually do. I got through it and I did it with grace.
Every time I do something hard, like solo parenting, I realize I’m more capable than I give myself credit for.
If you’re in a season of “how am I going to do this” hang in there because one day (while it’s never easy), it will get easier. October reminded me that life won’t always slow down just because you need it to, but you can still choose how you move through it.
You can choose what to pick up and what to leave behind, you can choose to lean in or take a break, and you can choose to take the good with the bad and run with it.
If you’ve also been in survival mode lately, you’re not alone. Here’s your reminder to slow down, breathe, and trust that you’re doing better than you think you are.
