Quitting 101: How to Quit Your Job Without Burning Bridges or Losing Your Mind
Even though this was over a decade ago, I still remember the exact moment I decided I was going to quit my first toxic corporate job. I had replayed that conversation in my head a hundred times, rehearsed what I was going to say, told myself I was ready. And then I walked into that room (or rather, I was walked into a back room)... I was told, point blank, "you’re not quitting."
This grueling conversation went on for an hour. There were tears (mine). There was a lot of dissecting every reason I'd decided to put in my notice. And at the end of it all, my manager sent me home and told me to sit with my decision and call her back the next day. The next day, my answer was exactly the same. I needed to move on. But the conversation made me feel like I was doing something wrong. It made me feel like I was betraying someone, breaking something, making a terrible mistake. But… I wasn't. I was ready to move and experience what was next for me in my career.
And then… there was the other time I quit. It was over Zoom, I had worked at the company for 4 years, I said my piece, and got "okay, thanks turn in your computer." That was it. No conversation. No acknowledgment of the years I'd given or the work we had accomplished together. Just a transaction. And that one stung just as much.
No matter how you slice it, quitting is hard. It’s the reason I’ve been writing a weekly blog for seven years now and Quitting 101 is my consistently top clicked on blog post.
One search online and you will find millions of interview tips but not a single tip on how to quit your job. That changes here. I don’t want you to have these awkward, negative experiences when you are giving your notice. I want you to go into these conversations prepared, confident, and standing strong in your power to communicate the best decision for you and your career.
Here's how to quit your job in a way that protects your reputation, preserves the relationship, and actually feels good when it's over.
4 steps to follow when you want to quit your job:
Gather all necessary information
Before you request a single meeting or draft a single email, sit down and write out every reason you're leaving. Not the polished, LinkedIn-ready version. The real one. What is it about this new opportunity that feels important right now? Where has this organization — or your manager — missed the mark with you? What were your career goals when you walked in, and how has this role helped or failed to move you toward them? Are there specific moments that pushed this decision forward?
You are not going to share all of this in your resignation meeting. But you need to see it. Getting everything out of your head and onto paper is how you start to separate the emotion from the logic. It's also how you walk into that conversation feeling clear and grounded instead of reactive and scattered. The last thing you want is to be blindsided by your own emotions in a room you could have been prepared for.
2. Request a resignation meeting
Once you're clear on your decision, it's time to get on the calendar. Request a meeting relatively soon (ideally the next day or within the same business week). You don't need to manufacture urgency or make it feel like a crisis, but you also don't want to let this drag out. Waiting too long after you've made your decision creates unnecessary anxiety for everyone, including you.
Don't give notice over email. That's a boundary worth holding. Instead, reach out to your manager or HR contact and let them know you have updates you'd like to share in person (or via video, depending on your setup). Here's a message that does that without tipping your hand:
Subject: Meeting Tomorrow?
Hey [Name],
Before the end of the week sneaks up on us, I'm wondering if you have some time tomorrow for us to connect.
I have some updates I want to share with you and I think it's best suited for an in person (or a remote meeting depending on your schedule) when you're available.
If you send over some times that work for you, I'll coordinate an invite.
Appreciate your time in advance!
And when the inevitable "what's this about?" lands in your inbox, you can respond simply and honestly:
Hey [Name],
Totally fair question. The nature of the meeting has to do with my career goals and next steps.
That's it. You don't owe more than that before the meeting, and anything beyond it starts to open a conversation that deserves to happen face to face.
3. Communicate - own the conversation when it happens
Take the initiative. Coordinate the calendar invite. Book the conference room if you're in person. And when you get into that room, whether virtually or in person, you run the meeting. This isn't about being cold or transactional. It's about being the professional you are. You made a decision. Now you're communicating it clearly and with respect.
The structure of the conversation itself doesn't have to be complicated. Follow these three guidelines to feel confident and in control during the conversation.
State the positives. Start the conversation by leading with something real and positive. Even if the experience was hard, there is almost always something genuine you can point to. A skill you developed, a relationship that mattered, a challenge that made you better.
Move onto the explanation. Once you have opened with a positive reflection, you can move into your news with clarity and, where you feel comfortable, transparency. The more you can share about where you're headed and why, the less room you leave for speculation or hurt feelings.
Give appreciation. Close by expressing appreciation (for anything!) for their time in this conversation, for something specific they did for you, etc
In practice, it sounds something like this:
"Hey [Name], if I haven't told you recently, I've really valued my time at [Company]. Being here taught me [specific thing], and without that, I wouldn't be in the position I'm in today. That said, another opportunity came my way that I can't pass up. This new role will allow me to [specific reason], and after a lot of thought, I know it's the right move for me. I want you to know how grateful I am for your support. My last day will be [date]. What do you need from me between now and then to make this transition as smooth as possible?"
Notice that it ends with a question. That question does a lot of work. It signals that you're not already checked out and that you care about what happens after you leave. It also gives your manager something constructive to hold onto in a moment that might otherwise feel disorienting for them.
4. Follow up in writing
The conversation you just had needs to be documented within writing. After your tough conversation, send a follow-up email that recaps everything: the fact that you're leaving, your last day, what you're committing to during the transition, and any open questions that still need answers (like who will step into your responsibilities in the interim).
Here's a template you can adapt:
Subject: [Your Name]'s Last Day — [Date]
“Hey xx, thanks for your time today. I know those conversations are never easy and I appreciate the support you lent to me. As a recap, I will be leaving xyz company on xyz date. I will work to accomplish a, b, and c prior to my transition.
What else do you need from me at this time?”
Short. Warm. Professional. That email becomes the paper trail that protects both of you and keeps the transition on track.
I’ll leave you with this - quitting is a professional act, not a personal betrayal. I say that as someone who has been on both sides of this conversation — as the person resigning and as a consultant who has helped clients navigate some of the most emotionally complicated exits you can imagine. You're allowed to leave. You're allowed to want more, to go after a new opportunity, to outgrow a role. How you leave is the part that stays with you and with everyone you worked with. Make it count.
If you're in the middle of navigating this right now and want support tailoring your specific approach, reach out. This is exactly the kind of work I do at Career Civility.
